Oblivious
by homesickthug
Summary: Its like being underwater and starved for oxygen, and once you break the surface, you fill your lungs to their full capacity, finally able to breathe. The next time though, you wont be so starved, so you'll have a chance to savor it. But right now, you just need to breathe, because you'd been drowning for so many years, believing you wouldn't break the surface with her. EC
1. She wasn't supposed to hear that

" _I've been doing a lot of thinking, and seeing her with him, god it hurt so much. And I took her for granted, before I got shot. And I can't really blame her, I was never steady, and she'd known that, everyone at work knew that. Natalia and I had that obvious thing, I lost my badge during a hookup, which became more of a habit rather than a here or there occurance._

 _I feel awful, thinking about all the woman I've hooked up with, not thinking about how it might affect her, affect us. Affect what we could have been. So it's not really fair of me to be jealous, especially since she's been through so much with relationships. With Hagen killing himself and Jake coming and going. Its also not fair for me to imply myself when I say she deserves better._

 _Because she does deserve better, deserves better than who she's been with, deserves way better than me. And I know I don't deserve her, but I wish there'd be some way for me to show her that I wouldn't want to hurt her. And I know she knows that I'm different than I was when I got shot. I haven't been with anyone since then, whether it be hooking up or a short month long relationship. There's just been too much going on."_

" _Before it seems that you would cope with sex, but how are you coping now?"_

 _He sighed and shook his head, "coping is a word with so many different meanings. Now, I don't really know how I cope. Work I guess, and coming to therapy has helped. But I still find it hard to fall asleep at night, sometimes it's because I'm wide awake and other times it's because I'm exhausted but keep having nightmares."_

" _Are the nightmares about being shot?"_

" _Kind of," he took a breath, "I guess I just feel like, this is so pathetic, but a lot of them are about her. About her getting hurt, about me not being able to help her because of the repercussions of being shot, or the issues with the Russian mob and my past. It's like I want to be there, I want to help her, I want to show her that I love her, but at the same time every time I try I just wind up hurting her. In the end, I just want her to be happy."_

" _Do you think you've always had these feelings?"_

 _He chuckled, "yea, there's always been that sort of tension between us, but neither of us really commented on it."_

" _So you've never really addressed your attraction?"_

 _He continued smiling, "the first time I met her, I wasn't a CSI yet but I was able to help with a case. And the first thing I ever said to her was 'so do you wanna give me your number now or later.'"_

 _Even after all these years, he couldn't help but laugh at himself for that._

" _So she doesn't know anything else? She doesn't know how you feel now?"_

" _I mean, after getting shot, there was an obvious shift in our relationship. I think we both came to realize how fragile life is. And she's always had my back."_

" _Do you think you'd ever want to talk to her about this, about your feelings?"_

 _Eric shook his head, "my friendship with her means more than anything to me, and I'd rather be able to keep her, even if just as a friend, than lose her because she doesn't love me like I love her. She means the world to me, she deserves to be happy, even if it's not with me."_

She wasn't supposed to hear that, she wasn't even supposed to be here. Horatio had instructed Eric to grab the rape kit for processing from Alex after his appointment, since it was in the same building. But there was a break in the case and she needed the sample immediately.

That, and she wanted to see Eric.

And in turn, she felt a bit guilty for listening, but she had gotten off on the wrong floor and went in search for some sort of direction, but instead found Eric's voice. She'd been wondering if he was okay, even though she knew he wasn't, and in all honesty she only continued to listen because she needed to know what was going on.

She was supposed to get off on the 4th floor, not the 6th. And in search for directions to the Special Victims Unit she instead found directions on which path she should take within her and Eric's relationship.

She got busted though, when the door opened and she saw Eric smile at his therapist, who confirmed she'd see him in three days. When he turned and saw her, he was confused but offered a warm grin, "Cal what are you doing here?"

"I uh," she was still trying to wrap her head around what she had heard, and by the way she was lost for words at such a simple question, it was obvious that she'd overheard what he'd said. She knew it, he knew it, but either he was really good at pretending that it didn't bother him(and this _is_ Eric Delko we're talking about, he loses at poker before his first turn), or he actually didn't mind. Calleigh went with the latter, leaving that fact that she invaded his privacy unspoken.

"We got a break in the case, and I needed the rape kit right away. I got off on the wrong floor."

Eric chuckled, "yea, 6th floor is for mental health, 4th floor is for rape vics."

She nodded, a nervous smile on her lips, "right." It was quiet, before she spoke, and the silence wasn't exactly _uncomfortable_ but there was an elephant in the room(and it _is_ the 6th floor, so anything's possible) that needed to be addressed.

"How about you come over tonight, we can order pizza, we haven't done that in a while."

He ducked his head questioningly, "you sure?"

She rolled her eyes with a smile, "yea that's why I asked."

He chuckled, "alright, sounds good. After shift I'll meet you in the locker room."

She nodded, "yea, locker room. After shift."


	2. Breaking the surface, gasping for air

She sat him on the couch and passed him a beer, he thanked her but wouldn't meet her eyes. He could say it's because she'd see right through him, but she always knew what he was feeling anyways. That was his only _plausible_ excuse, but regardless, he kept his eyes averted.

If he were honest with himself, he's just afraid of what he might see in _her_ eyes, not really what she might see in his. Afraid he might see rejection, though he'd already tried to come to terms with the fact that he massively fucked up whatever he and Calleigh could have been, but he couldn't help but hope that maybe, _maybe_ she'd give him a chance.

She covered his hands with hers, he jumped a little at her warm touch, forgetting entirely that he was gripping onto an unopened can of beer. In retrospect, the beer was more so a prop rather than an actual beveridge. It helped even the tension and made things casual, attempting to let a friendly vibe make this conversation a little easier.

She mumbled his name and he replied with hers, though his voice was thick and far more hoarse than he intended it to be.

"Eric," she repeated, her voice soft as silk, warm and filled with concern but she didn't get a chance to start her sentence without him taking a breath, smiling, and shaking his head, "Cal, you don't need to say anything you don't want to."

He was shocked at how weak he sounded, at the trembling in his words and the way sadness laced itself around each syllable. He kicked himself for that, it'd only prove to make the situation worse.

She sighed, and it pained her, seeing him in this much pain, Knowing that she was behind a good deal of it. Doctors made it clear that Eric would have good days and bad days, but recently he'd been spiraling into a pool of depression right in front of her and she was certain it had nothing to do with the shooting. She knew he still had nightmares, she knew he still had a difficult time remembering things, and she knew about the hallucinations with Speed. But this, this depression that rained over him wasn't like those, this was different.

"Eric, I'm so sorry."

At that, Eric cocked an eyebrow and made an effort to look at her, settling for her lips because that was far safer territory than whatever lay hidden in her green orbs.

"Why," he paused, now thoroughly confused, "why are you sorry? I'm the one that should be sorry."

She gave his hand a squeeze, "You've changed. I've changed, _we've_ changed, and I never took that into account," she took a breath before continuing, trying to keep it together- this conversation was _definitely_ not one that needed water works _on top_ of everything else.

"When you got shot, I was so afraid of losing you, I couldn't lose you, that wasn't an option." Her voice began to quiver and she tried to blink away the tears that threatened to burn trails down her cheeks. _Keep it together Duquesne_

"You're in so much pain, and I hate seeing you like this." She shook her head, unable to help the warm droplets that fell. _Damn it._

"Hey," he whispered, wiping his thumb over her tears, moving their beers and pulling her into a hug, "I'm fine okay?"

She buried her face in the crook of his neck, "Eric you're not okay." She took in his scent, savoring it and realizing she'd taken him for granted. One day she'll lose him, maybe not within the next decade(hopefully), but one day, and being in his arms, feeling him around her, one day she won't be able to have this. One day he won't be here, and she'd already come so close to losing him. One day his smell would be gone, his voice, his smile, and damn why did it have to take him almost losing his life for her to realize this? To realize he's all she's really ever wanted?

He was running his hands in small circles along her back, comforting _her_ , even though the whole reason she brought him here was for _him_ , not her.

"I'm sorry," she repeated.

He frowned, pulling her to face him, "Cal, I don't understand why you're-"

She cut him off, her lips as soft as her words, and she kissed him with such sincerity, such emotion and Eric still didn't understand why she was sorry but that didn't really matter right now. He cupped her cheek, savoring the warmth of her mouth. God, she was so much better than any of his midday fantasies. But he always knew she'd be. Her hands lightly scraped down his back while she bit at his lower lip- he opened invitingly, tracing her tongue with his, and everything around him disappeared, all he could feel was Calleigh. Her mouth, her tongue, her hands roaming over him, and it's only been a kiss, but now that she's had him, now that she's _finally_ had him, she knew that, god forbid if they didn't work out, that she'd never feel such an intimate connection from just a kiss with anyone else.

Eric knew that he needed to pull away, that he needed to say something for the sake of their friendship, and it took every bit of willpower he had to tear his lips from hers, but he somehow managed to, resting his forehead with hers, their noses touching.

"Cal," he breathed, "I don't want this to hurt us. I don't want to lose you, you mean too much to me."

She smiled warmly, bringing his lips back to hers, "Eric you're so oblivious."

Her hands found their way to his hair, tangling her fingers in the strands, happy that he'd grown it out. She started to feel him relax, his hands moving to settle on her hips while she kissed him, rubbing small circles on her hip bones with the pad of his thumb while the rest of his fingers gripped her hips loosely.

If they weren't fucked before they were definitely fucked now.

Calleigh was the one to break the kiss this time, "We need, this _I_ need this. I need _you_ , Eric," she murmured, her lips latching on to his pulse point, his eyes drooping shut. She needed this, and damn he's needed this for god know how long, but she needs this too. And isn't that what he's been dreaming of hearing? All these years?

Any thought of negative repercussions evaporated when he felt her breath trail to up his neck and her teeth nibble at the bottom of his ear, any thought in general evaporated and Eric had never felt so on fire before. With anyone. Her hands trailed over his shirt and through two layers of clothing her fingers felt electrical and he had to stop her because if this was going to happen it was going to happen his way. He grabbed both her wrists with one hand, his voice hoarse while he spoke, "I'm the one that should be sorry." He let her hands go and moved his to her thighs, pulling her onto him, "I'm the one that hasn't been forward."

He moved her lips back to his, though this time the kiss more fierce than the initial two. But, right now, all he needed was her, to feel her, to taste her. And god, he'd only kissed her but he already felt like he was going to melt. He let his hands flutter down her sides, over her curves and down to her thighs, resting there. He nibbled at her bottom lip, and she opened her mouth invitingly, his tongue skating over hers and she couldn't help the gasp that left her and was hungrily swallowed by Eric.

His hands continued to roam over her, brushing against her breast for just a moment before moving back to her hips, tracing her hipbones with small circles over her pale skin. And he always found it fascinating how they could be different in so many physical ways- his skin dark hers pale, he big her small- yet they clicked together so well.

"God Cal," he murmured, feeling his drawers become a bit tighter than he remembered them being initially. Her lips latched onto his neck, and he couldn't help the moan that escaped his lips. Her teeth grazed against his skin, her breath hot while she situated herself against him. She straddled him, the heat of her core burning through four layers of clothing against his arousal, and damn, he wanted to be in control of the situation, but her smallest touch left him dizzy and intoxicated. Her lips on his neck, sucking while her fingers found the hem of his shirt, rendered him speechless, with the exception of small moans and gasps. And when she ground her hips against his, feeling him, moaning slightly because the ache between her legs had been there for far too many years- he had no control over his extremities. All he could do was sit there, looking at her through droopy eyes while his hands rested on her hips, and try to focus on his breathing.

He wanted to be in control of the situation, but it was rather obvious that Calleigh was the one that wanted to ravish him. She fisted his shirt and pulled it over him, her lips breaking contact so she could toss the shirt in some unknown direction, and pulled Eric into yet another sensational kiss. It wasn't as fierce; deep and passionate yes, but not hungry and full of fire. Whatever aggressive spark that ignited when she _finally_ felt his skin on hers seemed to have settled. Her fingers roamed his chest with more grace, tracing the contours of his abs, his skin electric under her fingertips. She broke the kiss, which confused Eric for a moment, but she wrapped her arms under his and over his shoulders, pulling him close and resting her head against him. She closed her eyes, breathing him in.

"God Eric," she whispered, pulling him closer. He let his eyes fall shut, tender fingers tracing along her spine, over her ribs in loving circles that made her squeeze him harder.

"You mean so much to me," she murmured. Eric was taken aback at how open she was being, Calleigh was always good at hiding her emotions, and if she did share them, it was generally tightly wound under layer after layer of protection. But her words were raw, straight from the heart. She was letting Eric in all the way, which scared her in a way, because she'd never done that with anyone.

Eric was oblivious in a way, at least in her mind, considering she thought she was letting on more than she actually was. She was falling in love with him, had been since before the shooting, but she pushed that away. Eric was a player back then, he was different. But he changed, and it only made her fall even harder.

Her lips caught the lobe of his ear, "I need you." Her voice was hoarse and filled with endless desire, and that paired with her grinding against him, had Eric losing it.

"Wrap your legs around my waist and hold on," he said, kissing her shoulder before swiftly standing up, Calleigh clinging to him. She looked at him and smirked, moving her arms to wrap around his neck, her fingers to tangle in his hair, while she pulled him into another bruising kiss. She knew it would cause him to lose his balance, make it harder for him to direct his way from the living room to her bedroom, but she found it incredibly sexy that she could have that effect on him.

They made it to her bedroom in one piece, and he laid her on the bed and looked at her.

"You're wearing too many clothes Cal," he breathed, "take your shirt off."

She quirked an eyebrow at him, thinking he'd be the one doing that, but when she felt deft fingers work at the button of her jeans she understood. She glanced at him while he hooked his fingers in the waist of her pants and panties and pulled them down and off.

She took a breath, realizing that not only was she completely nude in front of Eric Delko, her best friend, her partner in crime... scene investigating, but his lips were now gazing over the inside of her thighs, leaving soft kisses and the occasional nip while he used two fingers to separate her folds and run his thumb from opening to clit, a hiss of approval leaving Calleigh's swollen lips.

She closed her eyes, her cheeks flushed a subtle crimson, and she tried to convince herself that it was arousal, but in all honesty, she was a bit embarrassed and knew she wouldn't be able to handle watching him watch her. But when he touched his tongue to the tip of her clit, it didn't matter, her body shuttered and she wouldn't have been able to open her eyes if she tried.

His tongue repeated the path of his thumb, trailing swiftly from opening to clit a few times before his lips latched delicately onto the tender bundle of her nerves. His tongue toyed with her and she gasped, one hand scratching at his hair, the other gripping the bed sheets.

He hadn't been down there very long, hadn't even made use of his fingers, but she already felt the warm twisting sensation in her abdomen, and if he kept this up she was going to come. But she needed to come with him, needed to come with him in her.

"Eric wait," she moaned, her fingers gripping his hair to pull him back to her. He obliged, though he was slightly confused.

His quizzical look quickly vanished when she brought his lips back to hers, and mumbled against him, "I need to come with you inside me, I need to come when you come."

The need in her words left him breathless. What she said was so honest and endearing it had to be the sexiest thing Eric had ever heard. He laid down next to her and she rolled ontop of him, working the buckle of his jeans and sliding them down, rolling off of him and figuring he could get them off the rest of the way. He smirked and she smiled, a warm heartfelt smile that was both tender and raw, leaving Eric's heart pounding. He was nervous, and rightfully so. This was real, not a hookup, not just sex. This was _Calleigh_ and he needed to make sure he did this right. He returned a tender smile, his head on the pillow and turned to the right, hers turned to the left to face him. He caressed her cheek, cupping her jaw and drawing gentle circles with the pad of his thumb.

He gazed into her eyes, and something had switched. Obviously the two of them never had a traditional, _just friends,_ friendship, but there was something different, a new layer of intimacy that had unfolded. Right now she trusted him 100%, she was completely open to him, and that made him even more nervous.

She grinned and shook her head, grasping his wrist and bringing his palm right above her left breast, over her heart. The rapid beat he felt under her skin left him both relieved and certain that the line they were about to cross existed solely for that reason.

She chuckled a little, seeing the relief wash over his features, "me too."

He let out a relieved sigh, leaving his hand over her heart and studying her.

"You're beautiful, Cal."

She wouldn't be able to play off the blush that spread over her skin as arousal, but her embarrassment quickly subsided when he moved on top of her, his hips grinding against hers, his mouth busying itself with her right breast, realizing he'd yet to taste them. She arched her back at this touch, his teeth grazing over a nipple, and she moaned. He sucked on one, and rolled the other between his index finger and thumb. Her breaths became staggered while she tried to find her voice.

"Eric," she gasped, lifting her pelvis to grind against him while seductively tracing her toes down his thighs and over his calves. "I need you."

That was all the incentive he needed. He left one hand on her left breast, and moved his gaze to her, the sincerity of her words left him warm. She needed him. _Finally_. He's always needed her, whether as a friend or a lover, he needed her, he loved her. The fact that she needed him too unveils another level of emotion that he's never felt before. Like leaving the city and gazing at the stars for the first time, or tasting a food that you'd been aching to have but could only imagine how exquisite it would be.

Nostalgia. Her words made him finally feel at home.

His teeth grazed over her bottom lip while he reached between them to align himself to her entrance, rubbing the head of his member against her. She moaned his name, and that's something that will never, ever get old.

Slow and tender, he gradually pushed his way inside her. And he moaned shamelessly, because he'd never felt anything as good as her. She was warm and tight but inviting. His lips crashed onto hers, lacing one of their hands together, Calleigh's other raking her nails down his back. Him being inside her, being buried to the hilt and as deep as he could be, being one with her, it caused her to throw her head back and gasp his name. Never had she had anything so intimate and raw, his slow inhibited thrust leaving her feeling on fire, scraping her nails over his spine and gasping his name. And though Eric didn't return the vocal satisfaction, it was obvious that it was too much, she felt too good, and he knew, though he would stop his thrusts for a good minute to catch his breath, he knew he wouldn't be able to hold out long.

He bit at her shoulder, closing his eyes and trying to first catch his breath, and second find a slow steady rhythm. But by the feel of her walls tightening around him, the way her hips bucked, he knew she was close. And he figured his first time with her wouldn't last long; he'd been dreaming about this for years, and as much as he would love to savor every piece of her, he knew that right now all that mattered was that he was as close to her as physically possible. Their shared intimacy ran deeper than the darkest depths of the sea, so it was no wonder that it'd be near impossible for either of them to hold out. It was like reaching seeing the sun shine through the epipelagic zone of the ocean after being starved for oxygen- relieved, hopeful, euphoric- and _finally_ when you reach the surface you gasp for air because of how starved you'd been, and you can't help but take in every mole of oxygen.

Right now the two of the were nearing the surface- close, so close.

The rhythm of his thrusts, though still gentle, came deeper and a tad faster. The friction of his hips against her center left her gasping, raking her nails down his back, and she felt absolutely no shame for the marks she was going to leave, considering she was certain her collarbone would have a few as well. It was just too good, they were inches away from the horizon of the sun and the sea.

"Cal," he breathed, nuzzling her neck, her aroma leaving him dizzy. He felt her muscles clenching, a warm spasm beginning to twist and twist inside her, close, so close, "come for me Cal, I wanna come with you."

She didn't scream, but then again this wasn't hot steamy sex, this was intimate and raw and a way for them to finally connect in the deepest way possible. He did take her breath away(or rather finally give her a chance to breathe), her eyes were squeezed shut while she gasped, her nails scratching down him and biting into his bottom lip while she pulled him deeper and deeper.

She rode out her orgasm, the spasms clenching around him until _one, two_ -

He didn't make it to three, usually when he's that close it takes three thrusts to push him over, but she felt too good, and he came inside her, spilling his seed to plant flowers that had always been meant to grow, but had yet to come across the right garden.

The finally made it to the surface together, finally got the air they'd been starving for.

His breathing was staggered, but so was hers, they gasped, their chests rising and falling together. Eric was going to move off of her so she could breathe but she gripped his bottom, "stay."

He steadied himself on his forearms so he wouldn't crush her, and peppered soft, open mouthed kisses, along her neck. He smiled against her warm skin.

"What," Calleigh asked with a smile.

"You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

She in turn felt embarrassed... again, but she pulled him closer, the warmth of his skin on her leaving her comforted and satisfied.

"You mean a lot to me, Eric," she murmured, "We've always had this thing, we've always been good together."

He chuckled finding it difficult to keep up his body weight, "I didn't know you felt that way." He pulled out of her and rolled onto his side, fetching the blanket that had been kicked to the foot of the bed and tossed it over them.

"How could you not?" She asked, tracing patterns over his warm skin.

He pulled her to him, her head resting on his chest while he nuzzled the top of her head, "I knew our friendship had always meant a lot to you, but I was certain that it was just that, friendship."

She shook her head, an innocent smile traced her lips, her legs intertwined with his, "Eric you're so oblivious."

"Maybe," he whispered, kissing the crown of her forehead, "you're not exactly easy to read."

She laid a kiss on his chest, "mmm, that's true, but I think for once in this situation ignorance is bliss."

He chuckled, "why is that?"

"Because we waited, for the right time, for both of us to grow together. That's why this was so great."

He smiled, "you don't think we'd have been good before?"

He felt her lashes flutter against his chest, "no, that's not what I meant, I just don't think it would have ended well, and you're too important to me."

He sighed warmly, his hand tracing down her sides, "so sometimes it's good to be oblivious?"

"Mmm yea, except at a crime scene, that might be an issue."

He chuckled, the beating of his heart bringing a tender smile to her lips.

She was quiet for a moment before she spoke, "Eric, you know I love you. But when it comes to you, and women, ignorance is most definitely bliss."

He smiled and she traced the valleys in the contours of his abs, "besides," she chuckled, laying a tender kiss on his chest, "it's way more fun when you're oblivious."


End file.
